It's Your Birthday!

For a few years, this date and (day) have been very significant to me as far I can remember. I used to look forward to it and once or twice, I did went overboard. Heee. Those were very young times, they were sweet times and I have no tiny bit of regret bout them, including goin to Qb with heavy make-up and contacts. Eww! All thanks to my roomie! :D

Anyway, now we've both grown up and are walking in our own paths. Things are not the same anymore but those bittersweet, fun, and cute memories will remain embedded in my heart.

Happy Birthday my friend! May God bless you abundantly! xoxo

whatever!

Yeahhh, whatever! ;)

I should be marking my students' linear essays right now...but I am feeling the itch to write. In fact, been a long time what. *_*

Tomorrow - 9th Jan 2012 is the day when I'm gonna face the real music! *ding dong*
Frankly speaking, I feel kinda jittery to know where will I be posted to. What if I get posted in Kampar? Oh great, I can wake up a lil later than! :P Nevertheless, that's not about all. I have got to make a life decision. Seriously, serious!

I love my job, yes, from the bottom of my heart and being a lecturer is my ambition, then, now and always. It's still called TEACHING. Besides, I have already established myself now. Working 8-8 on weekdays. Tutoring after office hours in Kampar. Good experience and I truly learn alot. If I leave soon, what will happen to these students who are pretty comfortable being in my class now? I pity them. Exams in March and I can't just leave them. Such a DILEMMA!

I believe in God. He's gonna decide for me! And, I am positive everything is gonna turn out well. Come what may, I will thank You dear Father of Universe! :)

Goodbye; Welcome!

Here comes 2012 and rolling in with it will be a tsunami of New Year's resolutions. My New Year resolutions are always the same classics—losing weight, getting fit, studying harder and being kinder, saving more etc. I hardly achieved any of them because they lasted only for the first one or two months. "Hangat-hangat tahi ayam". Hehe. It's a shame I'm still working on my 2011's resolutions when it's time to bid goodbye already. :D

Almost everyone make promises to improve themselves at the beginning of each New Year. It has become quite a part of our New Year celebrations and 2012 is not going to be an exception, defo! The beginning of every year brings in new hope and enthusiasm. I'm looking forward to a new beginning and hoping for things to improve from this year. It's indisputable we like to forget about our pasts and its daunting memories and wish for a new start. Hence, New Year is always celebrated with pomp and joy by every race around the world. :)

#2011 has been the best year for me, I would say. I achieved almost all my dreams and good things came my way. All praises to my dearest God and family! However, New Year brings in new promises. Hence, it can’t hurt to plan ahead for my New Year 's resolutions which will help make me a better person in 2012 and years to come!

I'm gonna turn 25 in 2012! The number is getting bigger and so are my responsibilities in life. Thus, this year I decided on some real serious resolutions. Seriously serious? :)

* I will focus more on giving than taking.
* I will not crib about things, would rather remain content for what has life given to me.
* I will stand by my loved ones, come what may. It is not a resolution but a vow.
* I will get more organized - work planning, punctuality
* I will enjoy life to the fullest.
* I will learn something exciting/ new
* I will help others (students) achieve their dreams
* I will tame the bulges on my body. (Fitness all the way lah)


Welcome 2012! Please be extremely great and memorable. Dear God, please don't ever let go my hand. Happy New Year!

31.12.2011

A Totally Creepy Encounter

My cousins from Puchong came down ever since I'm on leave. That night, I drove them to Aj's house. We chit-chatted till past midnight. When we came back, we continued pillow-talking in my living room. Talked about almost everything - childhood, school-hood, friends, enemies, marriage life and even death. We were exchanging facts we knew about death and were expressing our innate fear of dying. We were also talking about how death snatches our loved ones in an instant - just like how we lost a few cousins in a month this year. :(

From death, we started talking about why our young family members die only in accidents. From my uncles to cousins, all lost their lives in accidents. We started talking about Karan, my cousin bro who saw a spirit a week before he died in a tragic accident. So, we got carried away and started talking about spirits - good & bad, ghosts. Very bad. We were so engrossed we did not realize it was already 4.00am.

We heard footsteps. My dad was awake to go to the washroom, we guessed. Abruptly, we switched off the lights and pretended to be asleep on the sofa. It was so funny that we were giggling mischievously under our blankets. When my dad went back to sleep, we got up and we still did not feel sleepy, so we cooked maggi. My cousin still continued about Karan's encounter with the spirit. I got goosebumps listening to her and God's swear, my heart was beating fast. Just then, we heard the door bell rang once. I felt dead. We were all dumbfounded and we quietly got into our blankets, hugged each other tightly and slept. I couldn't sleep. My eyes kept on moving all over the living room. I was shivering in actual fact wondering who that could be.

The next morning (today), we woke up quite early to have breakfast together. We narrated the incident to my parents coz my dad knew we were awake the entire night. And, at that very particular moment, I witnessed another astounding incident. The door bell rang! My sis thought we had a visitor, she dashed to the door to see who that was but there was no one. +_+

I did not want to think much about it. I had enough last night. So, I had fun playing scrabble with my cousins and bid them goodbye when they left just now. When I went on Facebook after that, I saw Karan's friend's status - "Happy Birthday Karan. Wish you were with us."

Dub dab dub dab. God, I will never ever talk such stories anymore. The end.

I had a bad dayyy!

Foul words were exchanged. I felt impure for using such words after long. Hee. Anyway, let bygones by bygones. I know people who truly love me for who and what I am. My life is simply perfect coz my loved ones do not judge me.

I cried. Alot. My eyes were red and it was creepy to see such look after ages. Gahh. Just at that moment, I received a text from my dear one, " Look there is always a reason behind everything, if you are living for someone or ones happiness, nonetheless, in this world we are all tied to something called "attachment". We are here to indulge in our daily activities, little we remember that we are responsible for our own destiny. Do what u think is right, live the way you feel that it gives you happiness, do respect others opinion BUT decision is strictly yours! When you feel happiness within you, than you are a winner! My love and blessings with you always."

Very wise words. I shall carry them in my heart for lifetime. :) Thanks to all for making me a better person in one day. I don't need LOSERS in my life coz he thinks I'm a WINNER. Winners are always hated and envied, indisputable fact of life. Boooo!

More importantly, Buzz said we have GOD, The Almighty with us. She's younger than me, but wiser in thought I must say. Others would have called/texted me merely to know about the conflict, but she send me something very comforting. You made my day, errr, no, night! *hugs*

Those who hold grudges against me or can't tolerate my bitterness, please feel free to remove me from your list. I'd be pleased and way much peaceful.


Happy holidays!!

**Btw, my dear one also reminded me that GOD resides in all souls, so no foul words allowed after this. Yes, my pleasure. :) ^_^

Pieces of Shit

The bitch's switch has been flipped. No one has triggered my emotions for months until today. They've hurt me. Dudes, it's big time you guys grow up before shit explodes in your faces. I always speak my mind, the truth and facts, and if you happen to be the one pissing me and my friends off, you're bound to dislike what's gonna come out of my mouth. Anyway, HATERS GONNA HATE! Noted.

Mr Syed, you might be an effing runner but dude, remember, dynamites comes in small packages.

And, Mr Afiq, don't bark for no reason. If I needed your opinion or lame joke, I would have kicked your kennel.

I can't change the way I am, the way I think, but if I've offended you..Good! Coz I don't give a f*ck!

Is done! Caring, feeling and giving a shit..but then again, what's the point? These people never appreciated me when I was studying with them and nor do they now. I tried to be nice, but they screwed me over? Okay fine, screwed them over now by removing their shit faces from my list. Just coz I studied for 6 years with you guys doesn't mean I gotta tolerate your bloody mouths and attitude for my entire life. You guys are better out coz I won't take crap in my list anymore.

Oh ya, Awalludin another laser-mouthed dude who never uses his brain before speaking. What he said to me months ago is still bobbing in my mind and will be forever. "Hey Dalwin, kenapa ada kacang kat muka awak?" Awal, KARMA is gonna fuck you hard. I was speechless at that moment but the sound of silence can be real deafening.

Goodnight. Peace Out. :)

Dare to Dream.

I used to ask God for the ability to dream. Big, and perchance, more practical dreams. I talk big, dream bigger, but I probably have the heart of a mouse. And in all my idealistic blunders occasionally I find that perhaps the silliest dreams come true more often than not.

I loved living my life through the experiences of others. Not that my own lacked in flavor or even drama, just maybe even my heart transcends that of my own. I've cried watching people do well, cried watching them grow, cried along with them as they too wept, and had my heart broken many a time for heartbreak that wasn't mine.

I used to want to fix people, and how much that attracted me to them. Not that I didn't need any fixing or that I was perfect, but that my brokenness wanted, in fact, desired me to save them, fix them, make them better. I used to fall head over heels over a man I cannot fix, or who had no desire to be fixed. I think about the way I enslaved myself to him, loving him from a distance so great it only appeals in my imagination. That being the way things were, I'm glad I'm out of that mess. Not to say that I'm not the same person that I was then. I still want to dream big. :)

I don't know what my life will become in the years to come. So much of my hopes and dreams lie on the balance between whatever and whenever. But to be really honest, I've never been so sure.

But after all these years I suppose all He wanted me to know was not that I needed the ability to dream. I've already had the ability to dream.

All I needed was the bravery to dream, the faith to see it come true, and the wisdom to know it has when I finally see it. #ilove2011