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Thursday, July 22, 2010

P.M.S :'(

In reality, I am slowly losing my mind. Underneath the guise of smile, gradually I'm dying inside. Friends ask how I feel and I lie convincingly coz I don't want to reveal the fact that I am suffering. So I wear my disguise till night when I hear the sentimental songs on my Ipod. That is when I turn down all the lights, break down and cry :'(
Those memories are immortal and your image constantly lingers in my heart. It is the loneliest feeling in this world to find yourself standing up when everyone is sitting down. Walking down the empty streets listening to your own footsteps. Blinds are drawn and I feel like the doors are locked against me. And, I am not sure whether I am walking towards something or just walking away...
Imissyou! :'(

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

ORANG BODOH!!

My dear roommate had to go back to her hometown of an emergency last Sunday evening. And, because of the pathetic military-like maktab rules, she was expected to come back the next day itself. So, she told me that she will be taking a flight from KLIA at 930p.m and will be reaching Penang about 1030p.m....

Since she was still in a state of shock with the death of her close relative, my friends, Dharsh and Anis and I have decided to fetch her from the Bayan Lepas Airport. We left our hostel about 1015pm after having some group discussions. Being responsible teacher trainees in our beloved maktab, we decided to inform the guards at the main gate that we might come in 10 to 15 minutes past 11 since the curfew is at 11...

So Dharsh and I went out of the car to inform the guards and I was doing the talking...explaining about the reason my roommate had to went back and all. Their expressions showed that they were kinda reluctant! C'mon, we are just going to pick her up and due to the checking-out and all, we are bound to be a lil' bit late!

That one bloody guard was idiotic and a born pervert
!! He kept on staring at us up and down, up and down continuously! And, I felt like slitting his throat when he cynically asked me "Cikgu boleh pakai macam ini ke??" Such a rascal! I was just wearing a plain brown LONG jeans and a three quarter orange tee! He is memang an ORANG BODOH! What do expect us to wear then?! Typical minded moron! We are already wearing etchical formal attire to attend the lectures...are they expecting us to wear the same clothes even when we go out??!!

I don't want to see that moron again!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I. AM. A. FOREIGNER.


**A true story**

went out touring around Penang today with my sista. drove here and there and felt like i have been here for a long time. the true story is that met a Punjabi lady who was so excited to know about us. well, a short description about her is that she is a teacher in Penang Free School and lives at Bukit Dumbar. her first question to both of us was "are you girls from overseas?" we laughed our hearts out when we left that place. and, later in the evening, we went for dinner at Pelita nasi kandar somewhere around Komtar area. this time an Indian lady approached our table who is a lecturer in one of the colleges in Penang. Her first question to us was "are you girls from india?" gosh! we were about to go hysterical at that time!

i have decided to conclude that I AM A FOREIGNER in Penang! :P


Monday, July 5, 2010

Hello Maktab!

*This is the first post I’m writing from my hostel, Kolej Penginapan Jambu in IPGM Penang!

Well, I arrived here yesterday which was 4th July (5th TEYLians Anniversary). It was a kinda mixed feeling coming back here yet I was excited. Too bad, my excitement was gone with the wind when I saw my room. It was damn dirty, dusty and filthy. Actually, I can’t really find really appropriate adjectives to describe it! My sweet roommate, Kamini has already swept the floor three times before I saw the room. But still, it looked horrible! Imagine that! This is my 11th sem which means 11th room and cleaning this was the worst! Though tired after the entire cleaning and unpacking process, we went to Tesco the same evening to get some stuff for our room which was really considered urgent necessities. Crashed last night with a relieved feeling!

Tadaaa! The most anticipated day has finally arrived. Woke up really early but still feeling tired! No choice, by hook or by crook, we had to be on time for our INDUCTION! Yess, we had a One-Day-Induction thingy. I was in fact really delighted to see my lecturers after such a long time! Ohh gosh, the most interesting start to the day? We had to hike the steep hills of Bukit Coombe in order to reach the lecture hall and as expected, we were grumbling all the way! It was way too exhausting! One sure thing, hiking those hills are gonna help us to shed at least some kilos! :D Our lecturers were glad to see us back there in one piece too. And so, like freshies, we were given welcoming speech from the Director, the Head of Department of Language Department, and several lecturers. I felt that underneath the guise of smile, they were actually kinda worried about our behavior and attitude when it comes to assimilating and adapting back to the Institute culture. Well, I personally do feel that I myself have gotta assimilate and adapt to the environment, e.g: fixed class time, assemblies, uniform, totally formal attire etc.

Then, came the most “interesting” slot which was from the Discipline Unit – the rules and regulations! I can’t remember all but there are really some that are currently gelled in my brain! Lol!
• Be at classes by 8am. Late 10 mins – perbicaraan Akta 174. Ok?
• Wear court shoes – can’t even show any fingers ( no peeps toe, no wedges, no sandals)
• Interesting one – kasut warna gelap shj! No warna-warni it seems!
• Can’t own any CDS, DVDs or anything berbentuk hiburan. Die.
• Curfew time – 11pm sharp! Main gates and hostel gates will all be locked! Which means, we won’t get to lepak-lepak at café or at our friends’ room in other hostel after 11pm. 
• Cannot make noise in cafeterias. LMAO.
• Ohh yeah, they mentioned about Punjabi suits that must be worn with not seen through dupatta and can’t be fashionable! Puhlees!
• And, many many more! One ridiculous one was HAIR! Boys with short trimmed hair was ask to make it even shorter (SAM was one of the victim) And non-Muslim girls, tie your hair without centre or side lines! Excuse me?!

I was really astonished listening to all this! There were many other rules that we considered ridiculous! Of course, we are 11th sem students and the pioneer batch in maktab, yet these rules? Even, these rules were not exposed to us when we registered in 2005. ^^ Then, in the afternoon, we had team building activities under the hot scorching sun but we really had fun! Interesting and hilarious games! 


The process of assimilation and adaptation begins now! Now, I am even more worn out. Haha. Nites!!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

I MISS YOU

i am feeling really pathetic today.
i miss him ;'(
like really alot!
i wish i dont have to go back to penang. i really do.
i seem happy at the surface but deep inside im not.
this is becoming so shitty!
things are not falling into its place.
i love him, yet i cant tell him.
i care for him, but secretly.
wish this did not happen to me.
i cry when i miss him.
and now, i really MISS HIM!

*how i wish he knows this.