Pink!

So a time for a breather. Sorry I've been away for a while. Even the keyboard seems so foreign to me, I used to find great comfort in typing out words I would otherwise never chance upon. But that being said, there are still things to be done and I for one, have returned to that sweet spot of paranoia. You know, that feeling when you've just had all the ideas and all the inspiration in the world.

You know, that feeling when you've just had all the ideas and all the inspiration in the world.. And it disappears the moment you open your mouth. Incredibly annoying!

At the end of the day it's just therapeutic because no one really cares what I think on a regular day, like no one really cares about how leaves levitate when cars speed by.

Questions

I have recently asked myself many questions with the hope of an unadulterated answer. And when was the last time you questioned your motives in doing anything? I have seen many do things for the sake of doing them, never really understanding why, or what was worth the effort in the first place. But that's not who I want to be. The world is shouting out for us to follow blindly behind a pre-planned pattern, a conformity of sorts, a parade of checks and checkers. And here is the truth - this highly celebrated blindness of the blind, it's not a lifestyle. It's a disease.

However that being said I can't always be who I want to be, or consciously change who I already am, but the more I question myself the more I see the seemingly fine line between the mystery of the perceived self and who I really am.

Someone special once told me "It is easier to die for something, than to live without something". And boy she was right.

Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in the process of "dying" for something we lose out on living with it. And really, at the end of the day, what's the point.

There are 5 million thought processes at the back of my mind right now screaming into the voids I cannot piece together. And those are the voids I cannot consolidate by human effort.
It's time we ask ourselves questions so painful only our hearts can answer.

Do The Maths, BOYS!

HAHA. SERIOUSLY FUNNY OKAY.

Emo.

I envy those girls who can look good, no matter what they wear & how they do their hair.
I'm jealous of the fact that they can wake up in the morning & look totally gorgeous. The way they talk & walk. Yeah, why can't I be like that?
FML.

Sharifah Bazilah ;)

Okayy, I seriously didn't know that this lady has started blogging too until I went and stalk her Facebook hours ago!

See, I miss you tau :D

Nice blog babe. I read your posts! You're naturally a good writer though hyperbole is used extremely in your posts! :)

http://bazilah.blogspot.com/


As I was reading, one of her post really caught my attention.
-The Elephant Side Of Me-

I am just very amazed how this lady could remember all the little details in her life, even things that people told her like six years ago!

And, I was super touched when I saw this -

Dalwin:
Mcm mna sni? Ok tk? Rndu rumah? (when we first arrived here. She said as if she’d been here 4 ten years..haha)
I’m always going to be there 4 u darling
Jom pergi Old Town
Thankx 4 being my hardworking partner
(4 the endlessly hugging my waist-so sweet… oh, and touching my boobs- is that necessary?)
(she took my picture with Abg Didi. Thanx 4 the help..hehe)


And, ohh, its like one of the longest there! I feel special, babe!
Love you so much, bestie! ;)


SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

Laugh

Yes, I laugh ALOT.

Feel it.

"As we eye
The blue horizon's bend
Earth and sky
Appear to meet and end
But it's merely an illusion
Like your heart and mine
There is no sweet conclusion

I can see
No matter how near you'll be
You'll never belong to me
But I can dream
Can't I

Can't I pretend
That I'm locked in the bend
Of your embrace
For dreams
Are just like wine,
And I am drunk
With mine

I'm aware
My heart is a sad affair
There's much disillusion there
But I can dream
Can't I

Can't I adore you
Although we are oceans apart
I can't make you open your heart
But I can dream
Can't I

Can't I pretend
That I'm locked in the bend
Of your embrace
For dreams
Are just like wine,
And I am drunk
With mine"


The Carpenters.

DISASTEROUS NOVEMBER

AGA 9296 - this is how its supposed to look like but.....

Can you see the maize? That's maize imported from Argentina which just arrived at Port Klang.

hancur :(

terjunam into gaung

November started with news about floods brought by overnight rain that have even caused the evacuation on many people in Northern Malaysia. Water, water, everywhere!

Well, something bad happened last night. It was raining cats and dogs about 2am. Everyone was asleep and I was peacefully studying storytelling while sipping hot chocolate. Dad switched off his handphones cause he was having terrible headache and the alert messages from the GPS system were really bothering him.

** Oh ya, my dad is a businessman who owns a few lorry transport companies. The lorries transport goods for companies which we have signed contract with, one of them, Port Klang Sdn. Bhd. Each and every lorry is fixed with a GPS system and dad gets alert messages on his handphones.

Suddenly, my house phone rang. I was astounded for a second cause its really awkward for the phone to ring at such hour. I was already feeling nervous, and my heart stopped when the man on the phone said "Saya dari PLUS. Lorry company awak terbalik dan terjunam ke gaung kat highway Tjg Malim." I was dumbfounded. That lorry is one of my dad's latest addition and one of the most expensive ones! I ran up the stairs, my heart was beating fast. I was scared, it was dark outside, and it was raining followed the thunder and lightning.

My parents were shocked too. They remained silent for a while. I felt sorry for them. What a catastrophe! A few months back, two of our lorries were stolen (at different times). Both were loaded with expensive, imported goods. One lorry was found back a few weeks later but without the goods. One was never seen again. Our company suffered great loss, very great loss. Since then, we fixed GPS in our lorries to detect the whereabouts.

And now, another mishap. But thank God, the driver was safe. The lorry which was on the way back from Port Klang to Perak was loaded with maize imported from Argentina, which is really expensive. It was raining heavily and the driver, Pak Cik Zabidin lost control of the lorry. :(

Dear daddy, I am gonna study really hard and make you proud one day. I can't see you being stressed anymore. I love you.
And yeah, I don't need a Vios now. I will wait.

Mummy, I Love You! :)

I was studying child psychology on neonates and then I came across these beautiful pictures! Just sharing! ^^

Pre-Exam Stress

This is what a huge majority of us are going through at the moment!! It's terrible, I know. I believe many students find themselves anxious, stressed and often also weighed down by expectations. Comparisons, parental expectations and peer pressure are major concerns for students attempting their exams; more so with board exams.

Here are simple techniques to reduce anxiety and stress. Just sharing! =)

Revision
Develop a timetable to monitor study progress. Make sure that there is enough time allocated for fun and relaxation as well. Subject revisions must include written practice including mock tests/ past year papers to simulate the exam environment. This helps the body and mind to adjust to the examination time and conditions.

Take a Break
While preparing for exams, always remember the old saying "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy". No matter how close the exam is, fun and relaxation must be an integral part of the daily schedule. Short breaks prevent mental fatigue and can even boost concentration.

Sleep Well
A regular seven hours of sleep is mandatory for the body to function well. It is also essential to regulate the sleep cycle without causing erratic changes as the exam approaches. A good night's sleep is often the best way to tackle stress.

Food Habits
Food rich in vitamins and proteins, such as green leafy vegetables and fresh fruits, are a must. Nutritious food will help boost brain function. Also, try to stay away from excessive caffeine - it reduces clarity of thought. (Ohh really? I take ALOT of caffeine to stay awake!)

Relaxation Techniques
Listening to soft music, simple deep breathing and meditation can be very effective in reducing stress. A brisk walk outdoors or a quick game of some sort will also help release tension from the mind and body. A fun family outing will also help immensely.

:: life ::

Life is just like walking barefooted alongside the pavement.
You never know how stepping on a pavement would affect you.
You just have to take the leap and just hope that it would not hurt you.

Cry Baby :'(

It got me thinking about how much men have to go through, to maintain that macho image which they have to live up to. Women are allowed to scream, confess they are frightened and are allowed to cry at movies, allowed to be moody (and even allowed to blame it on PMS), allowed to be mysterious, allowed to be emotional and allowed to do a lot of things that real men just are not 'permitted' to do. Isn't it strange that crying and laughing are two essential emotions, yet while watching a movie, men and women will laugh with abandon, but at a very moving scene, it is only women who will admit to crying (I cry easily when a scene in a movie has touched me). I think it is because little boys are conditioned from childhood to 'be brave' and 'not cry like a girl'.

But, I find men who cry when they are hurt or heartbroken VERY MACHO AND SEXY!

*Random thought after watching Ranbir Kapoor crying in 'Tujhe Bhula Diya' videoclip!

Freaking cute! =D

So, you think you wanna be in love?

You know that feeling when you look at him and think...wow, i love him but we're just friends,

or, maybe when you know you cant be anything more than friends.

or maybe, you're in love with him and he doesn't even know this...you love everything about him and you wasted all your wishes on him.

You kept it in for so long and no one knows how confused you are. Do you tell him that you love him or do you keep it in? As usual, it's confusing.

Or, "It's complicated" is your answer when someone asks you what's going on. When you look at them talking about him, your eyes are filled with tears.

Only because you love him, you love him so much that sometimes you wish he knew....

No Good

The past two weeks were rough. There was just too much stress and workload to handle, selfish people to deal with...
But, I am glad I am over it! ;-)

I have a stupid MORAL quiz tomorrow. I havta start memorizing facts now. It's a stupid system. Memorize, Vomit. Forget.

Happy Birthday Dalwin!

Its my birthday today and I'm 23!
Yes, I feel old.
I am having mixed feelings today.
I should be having a happy and cheerful day...
but my two dear friends lost their loved ones - Syed lost his mom and Fath lost his dad.
My heartfelt condolences to you guys.
May their souls rest in peace.

Hearing their loss, I started missing my dad and mum tremendously and after 5 years I am home to celebrate my b'day with my family!
Tears begun to flow from my eyes upon receiving a big and warm hug from mummy and daddy.
I love them way too much and loved their surprise for my b'day!

The TEYL family have had a rough week.
God, please be with us and give us strength to move on.
I love you all, Cohort 4!
Thx for all your wishes, cards and gifts! :)

Me, Myself & I

I am not always as confident as I seem. There are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held. Always. Sometimes I don't want to talk about what is bothering me. Sometimes I just want a hug. Someone who will let me cry. I like when my friends cry in front of me, when people aren't afraid to show what they're really feeling. I don't like when people run from their true feelings because it doesn't do anyone any good.

I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I am not naive. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I am all too familiar with what it means to be hurt. I know what it's like to see something funny and not laugh. I've been taken advantage of, used, and abused. My feelings have been blatantly disregarded. But I still believe that all people are good at heart. And my trust in people has not diminished. To be completely honest, I hope it never does. Ever.

I'm a girl who eats unlike some people. People often complain about my eating habit - Dalwin, you eat too much for a girl! Dalwin you eat like nobody's business. Woman, watch your what you eat! I do wish I'm like those models, skinny with no appetite. The end.

Unexpected Surprise! :)

Lemme be frank of one thing. I don't have many Punjabi friends. I can count with my fingers the number of Punjabi friends I really have. Well, excluding those I have on Facebook. They are my friends, but not really my friends. Friends, to me, are those who know you well,in and out. They are those people who care to know you, accept you for who you are and stick with you through thick and thin. I grew up having Chinese friends in school, that is how I learned Cantonese. I befriended the Malays and Indians when I started my college life back in 2005. I only started having Punjabi friends when I stepped into UUM. At first, it was really awkward. I didn't really speak much during the outings. They thought I was arrogant. Well, I don't blame them. It was my fault. Mum thinks I am an anti-social too. Well back to my story, yeah, my Punjabi friends are damm nice to be with. I enjoyed every lovely and crazy moments spent with them...miss them now! :(

I have two other Punjabi friends who are very special to me, yet I could never tell them. I met both of them in Facebook, yes, Facebook! They are not the ones who just say 'hi & bye' but they are the friends who actually can make my day. Although I didn't met them before, they made me smile, giggle, smirk in their very own way. The one I first met is Jasdave Singh who I used to call 'Dave' and eventually came to know that he is called 'Deybu' by his family! *chuckles* He is a Malaysian who has migrated to Canada with his family. I have never met him. Whenever we chat, he tells me about his lifestyle in Vancouver and Surrey, the seasons, the people, work and the Gurdwaras. He is very very brilliant in English, I mean he can really write and speak well! *respect*

Through Jasdave, I made another friend who I met in Penang for the first time. She is Balween Kaur and she is really demure and sweet. We went out twice while she was doing her practical in Adventist Penang. She is a Pharmacy student living in KL. I was sad when she left Penang. I thought I wouldn't be meeting her anytime soon since I rarely go to KL. And, yeah, I forgot to mention, I have never attended any Annual Camps which are organised for Sikh youths. No wonder, I never had any Punjabi friends right? Hmmph! Well, these two friends are like angels sent by God to come into my life.

And, back to the title of my post -- 'Unexpected Surprise'? Remember, Jasdave is living and working in Canada and he will only visit Malaysia in April 2011. That is what he always told me. Well, on 8th Sept, Balween called me. She told me that she will be dropping by for lunch in Kampar on her way to Ipoh. I was delighted! I told her that we'll meet up in gurdwara first since she only knows the way there! Fine, then at night, I was chatting with Jasdave and Ohh! I actually BRAGGED about the hols we are having now, the plan of Balween coming down and having lunch together. He sounded surprised and envious. That is what I wanted. *evil grin* Oh God! I tell you what,i thought I was dreaming when I saw Jasdave just now! I was astonished! He came back and I didn't know anything about it. It was an unexpected surprise, really. I had great time and ate very good food with both my angels! Love them, they are very the awesome! :)

:: Dedicated to my TEYL 2 Angels ::

I know that there have been times when people say "there are angels all around you." I believe that full heartedly. And the impact that they have in our everyday lives. We have always heard of angels who are unseen, yet leave us feeling their presence. There are angels all around us who are in plain sight. But sometimes we don’t take the time to acknowledge that they associate with us, or are right under our noses.

I have true angels in my life. Both seen and unseen. There are times when I am offered protection, or have a quick prompting to do something, or suddenly feel comforted when there is no one around, and I know that it is the unseen angels. I know that God, the Almighty has sent angels that attend us and comfort and help us, as we live our lives. We are His children, and He loves us, and wants us to feel as much comfort and love as humanly possible. I have angels in my life, who are seen. They surround me, and remind me why I am here. Why life is so important. They are there to teach me, and to understand the things that I cant handle alone. I know that I have been blessed with angels all around me, to help me in the moments when I feel alone. They are truly gifts from my Heavenly Father, and mean so much more to me than anything the world has to offer.

I love my angels without wings, and I do not know what I would do without them. You guys make every day of my life beautiful, and worth breathing! I love you my angels! Muaxxx!

Shopping trip turned out scary! :-P

It was actually an unplanned shopping trip! This is how it started....
It was during lunch time when the electricity in our block got cut off! We were frustrated, it was really very hot and we decided to go pigging out somewhere nearby! We went to fill our empty stomachs in Jaya. Puvi and Dharshini were still in their cohort tees! And, the great Kamini wore her 'tandas slippers'! :P

After eating the finger-licking good Indian food, I spontaneously told them "Lets Times Square!" and I was smirking since none of them were dressed for it! I was surprised they agreed! We were excited in fact since we have never been there though many people told us there is nothing there! Being the penyibuks we naturally are, we wanted to "check that place out"! Kononnya! Hahah! And trust me, that place is empty! There is nothing there! Its a dead & empty shopping complex! Even the drinks at the 'Swensons' cafe there are kinda tasteless and not worth the money! The only thing we did there was playing games at the so very lame arcade! Haih!

Not enough of wasting time in Times Square, we headed to the Prangin Mall! Being the crazee gals we are, we went into a few boutiques, tried out a few clothes and went out empty handed because of our indecisive attitude! Had dinner then and decided to leave at about 8.45pm! So then this is what happened at the 1st floor! :D

We spotted a pretty, demure-looking Malay girl. We were stunned with her sweet look and were praising her..

Puvi : My neighbour looks exactly like her, but she has three children.

*We were going down on the escalator when that conversation was taking place. I was standing next to Dharshini and suddenly saw a weird looking he-she behind us. He-she had the most hideous hairdo ever, and wore very long African type earrings. I knowing some broken Tamil told the gals "behind Dharsh" in Tamil. Before they could even turn.....

He-She : *shouting* Don't simply talk about people okay??! Next time give birth only to one child okay!

All of us : Excuse me, we are not talking abt you!

He-She : *with scary face and fingers pointing at us* You think I'm deaf ah? You think I'm a retard izit?

We were scared by then. People were looking at us and he-she was quite loud. Just as we reached the ground floor, in the huge crowd there, he pointed at us and shouted 'You BITCH!'
We were astounded! Wth man! We didnt even kacau u, nor said anything abt u! It was indeed awkward to be labeled 'bitch' in public! *smirks* Then, we ran to the car park, jumped into the car and sped off!

Then, we figured out the case and solved the maze! :-P
Tht he-she actually perasan tht we were talking abt him-her...when actually Puvi was telling abt her neighbour who looks exactly the same like the Malay girl which we saw earlier. This he-she pulak thought tht we were insulting him-her saying that Puvi's neighbour looks the same, but got 3 children...and this he-she cant beranak ryte...and coincidentally when Puvi was talking abt her neighbour and I coincidentally spotted him just behind us, this he-she thought it was him-her we were refering to! Gile la! :D

milenge milenge - destiny at its best! :)

MILENGE MILENGE :)

At times we go to places alone
The distance between us just seems to grow
Our souls will always be together
And someday I know we will meet for sure

Milenge milgene haan milenge milenge
Aap se yakeenan milenge milenge
Ho sohniya mannmoniya
Milenge milgene haan milenge milenge

Milenge Milenge - We shall meet! Milenge Milenge is a delightful fairytale of a romantic comedy that will make you fall in love all over again! It will make you think of that special one that you have in your hearts! This story is basically an unbashed mix of "serendipity" and "only you". Its all about how fate starts playing tricks with people...and, I am in love with the title song and I can sing it all day long! *smirks*

I dunno why this song is stuck in my mind for almost a week now! I listen to it almost everyday on my Ipod - while walking to and fro classes, while jogging, before sleeping and whenever possible. My songs don't shuffle anymore. Maybe coz I have never seen or met him for months now :'( I miss just to see him, his kinda "messy" and geeky look! hahah! That is why I get my hopes uplifted whenever I listen to this song! It says - we shall meet, I shall meet YOU for sure! But, I really dunno when...Yes, I believe in destiny! Well, most of us do, right? It was fate I met you, it was fate we became friends, and it was also fate that fell for you! It is magical to fall in love...I am not sure if destiny will bring us together? For now, I am sure someday we will definitely meet! xD

My story...it is well a syrupy convolution of fate and destiny! No wonder, I love Milenge Milenge! Ahaks! :)

P.M.S :'(

In reality, I am slowly losing my mind. Underneath the guise of smile, gradually I'm dying inside. Friends ask how I feel and I lie convincingly coz I don't want to reveal the fact that I am suffering. So I wear my disguise till night when I hear the sentimental songs on my Ipod. That is when I turn down all the lights, break down and cry :'(

Those memories are immortal and your image constantly lingers in my heart. It is the loneliest feeling in this world to find yourself standing up when everyone is sitting down. Walking down the empty streets listening to your own footsteps. Blinds are drawn and I feel like the doors are locked against me. And, I am not sure whether I am walking towards something or just walking away...

Imissyou! :'(

ORANG BODOH!!

My dear roommate had to go back to her hometown of an emergency last Sunday evening. And, because of the pathetic military-like maktab rules, she was expected to come back the next day itself. So, she told me that she will be taking a flight from KLIA at 930p.m and will be reaching Penang about 1030p.m....

Since she was still in a state of shock with the death of her close relative, my friends, Dharsh and Anis and I have decided to fetch her from the Bayan Lepas Airport. We left our hostel about 1015pm after having some group discussions. Being responsible teacher trainees in our beloved maktab, we decided to inform the guards at the main gate that we might come in 10 to 15 minutes past 11 since the curfew is at 11...

So Dharsh and I went out of the car to inform the guards and I was doing the talking...explaining about the reason my roommate had to went back and all. Their expressions showed that they were kinda reluctant! C'mon, we are just going to pick her up and due to the checking-out and all, we are bound to be a lil' bit late!

That one bloody guard was idiotic and a born pervert!! He kept on staring at us up and down, up and down continuously! And, I felt like slitting his throat when he cynically asked me "Cikgu boleh pakai macam ini ke??" Such a rascal! I was just wearing a plain brown LONG jeans and a three quarter orange tee! He is memang an ORANG BODOH! What do expect us to wear then?! Typical minded moron! We are already wearing etchical formal attire to attend the lectures...are they expecting us to wear the same clothes even when we go out??!!

I don't want to see that moron again!

I. AM. A. FOREIGNER.

**A true story**

went out touring around Penang today with my sista. drove here and there and felt like i have been here for a long time. the true story is that met a Punjabi lady who was so excited to know about us. well, a short description about her is that she is a teacher in Penang Free School and lives at Bukit Dumbar. her first question to both of us was "are you girls from overseas?" we laughed our hearts out when we left that place. and, later in the evening, we went for dinner at Pelita nasi kandar somewhere around Komtar area. this time an Indian lady approached our table who is a lecturer in one of the colleges in Penang. Her first question to us was "are you girls from india?" gosh! we were about to go hysterical at that time!

i have decided to conclude that I AM A FOREIGNER in Penang! :P

Hello Maktab!

*This is the first post I’m writing from my hostel, Kolej Penginapan Jambu in IPGM Penang!

Well, I arrived here yesterday which was 4th July (5th TEYLians Anniversary). It was a kinda mixed feeling coming back here yet I was excited. Too bad, my excitement was gone with the wind when I saw my room. It was damn dirty, dusty and filthy. Actually, I can’t really find really appropriate adjectives to describe it! My sweet roommate, Kamini has already swept the floor three times before I saw the room. But still, it looked horrible! Imagine that! This is my 11th sem which means 11th room and cleaning this was the worst! Though tired after the entire cleaning and unpacking process, we went to Tesco the same evening to get some stuff for our room which was really considered urgent necessities. Crashed last night with a relieved feeling!

Tadaaa! The most anticipated day has finally arrived. Woke up really early but still feeling tired! No choice, by hook or by crook, we had to be on time for our INDUCTION! Yess, we had a One-Day-Induction thingy. I was in fact really delighted to see my lecturers after such a long time! Ohh gosh, the most interesting start to the day? We had to hike the steep hills of Bukit Coombe in order to reach the lecture hall and as expected, we were grumbling all the way! It was way too exhausting! One sure thing, hiking those hills are gonna help us to shed at least some kilos! :D Our lecturers were glad to see us back there in one piece too. And so, like freshies, we were given welcoming speech from the Director, the Head of Department of Language Department, and several lecturers. I felt that underneath the guise of smile, they were actually kinda worried about our behavior and attitude when it comes to assimilating and adapting back to the Institute culture. Well, I personally do feel that I myself have gotta assimilate and adapt to the environment, e.g: fixed class time, assemblies, uniform, totally formal attire etc.

Then, came the most “interesting” slot which was from the Discipline Unit – the rules and regulations! I can’t remember all but there are really some that are currently gelled in my brain! Lol!
• Be at classes by 8am. Late 10 mins – perbicaraan Akta 174. Ok?
• Wear court shoes – can’t even show any fingers ( no peeps toe, no wedges, no sandals)
• Interesting one – kasut warna gelap shj! No warna-warni it seems!
• Can’t own any CDS, DVDs or anything berbentuk hiburan. Die.
• Curfew time – 11pm sharp! Main gates and hostel gates will all be locked! Which means, we won’t get to lepak-lepak at café or at our friends’ room in other hostel after 11pm. 
• Cannot make noise in cafeterias. LMAO.
• Ohh yeah, they mentioned about Punjabi suits that must be worn with not seen through dupatta and can’t be fashionable! Puhlees!
• And, many many more! One ridiculous one was HAIR! Boys with short trimmed hair was ask to make it even shorter (SAM was one of the victim) And non-Muslim girls, tie your hair without centre or side lines! Excuse me?!

I was really astonished listening to all this! There were many other rules that we considered ridiculous! Of course, we are 11th sem students and the pioneer batch in maktab, yet these rules? Even, these rules were not exposed to us when we registered in 2005. ^^ Then, in the afternoon, we had team building activities under the hot scorching sun but we really had fun! Interesting and hilarious games! 


The process of assimilation and adaptation begins now! Now, I am even more worn out. Haha. Nites!!

I MISS YOU

i am feeling really pathetic today.
i miss him ;'(
like really alot!
i wish i dont have to go back to penang. i really do.
i seem happy at the surface but deep inside im not.
this is becoming so shitty!
things are not falling into its place.
i love him, yet i cant tell him.
i care for him, but secretly.
wish this did not happen to me.
i cry when i miss him.
and now, i really MISS HIM!

*how i wish he knows this.

indulgence in a little nostalgia

sometimes it seems long ago. at times, just yesterday. a life changing meeting has set a million things in play. there are things i have always longed to tell you, things i have always loved to share. one sure thing is i feel you with me often no matter who is there. if ever you doubt do i ever think of then, the answer is, yes! you are always on my mind. your charming face crosses my mind every now and then. those moments, a respite...natural, serene and free...blindsided, shaken and requited...bobs up in my mind every second.

illuminating. creating...so much was found and so much was lost. how so much every single day i am going to miss it, miss the best thing that have ever happened to me. it is like something of the fantasy which was more real than real. it spilled over into daily life while spinning all the wheels. i often send you blessings, all that i can do, as it should. be happy, healthy and thriving. life is beautiful and good i still believe. i miss you, i really do. xD